🔗 Share this article

This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “vanishing” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the idea that someone could abruptly cease communication with a lover without explanation seemed like the height of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, seeking a partner has only become more perplexing – an commonly fruitless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media lingo.

Zoomers, a cohort who matured during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a coordinated challenge on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a extensive guide to the terms gen Z is using to talk about love, sex and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

---

The Letter A

Realness – For gen Z, dating’s ideal is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A social media test loosely based on a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This means going for someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do low-cost romance in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Danger signals – Personal quirks signaling a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their exes unstable, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions validate your choice to pursue a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, largely inoffensive quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An ideal touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that immediately kill any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely sweet act.

J

Professions – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {